Wednesday, 30 November 2016

No Fault Divorce - Please Let There be a Better Way

So today in the UK over 150 family justice professionals are coming to Parliament to meet their local MPs.  What is this for? A very good and honourable cause ... they are coming to talk to their MPs about why the Government needs to allow for a NO FAULT DIVORCE. This is good news!

For me and my ex husband it was a stumbling block in our commitment to having a respectful, kind and good divorce.  Neither of us had felt we had acted in any way unreasonably in the weeks following our initial discussions of our divorce and neither of us had committed adultery.  The question on the page was glaringly acrimonious... it made us stop, we were uncertain of the way forward and it was the last question on the Petition Form we completed.  

We were eager to get the divorce going and this could clearly be a 'flashpoint'.  And it was, as neither of us wanted to be separated for the next two years without being able to move on. 

So after several heated discussions, I agreed to take responsibility and tick the adultery box. My Ex had a business and wanted his history to be clear of any such attachments and I didn't want to fight.  When you decide to get a divorce you are at the stage where YOU KNOW that divorce is really the only way forward and that for your only crime to be to 'fall out of love' this question is unkind.  It is a hurdle that so many couples in our position have faced.  We are good people and at the end of the day want what is best for us, for our children, our families and friends.  

Surely this doesn't need to be a requirement of a couple seeking to get divorced amicably and with less stress, anxiety and conflict?  Do our children nee
d to see further upset between their separating parents?  No, I do not think so.  For me personally, the desire for my divorce to not define the rest of my life was incredibly important.  So does for me ticking the adulterer box affect my life, thankfully no - I choose not to be affected by the blame game that can so often ensue between separating couples.  I am okay with my decision. Did it have to happen - yes it did, because the question was there on the page, so does this still have to be part of a painful, guilt ridden and sad process - absolutely not.

The support separating couples require during such a scary, turbulent and distressing time is at it's most crucial and small steps can be made in reducing the finger pointing and judgemental 'unhelpfuls' such as this.  Divorce is not easy, it is hard whether you divorce with kindness or not.  We all struggle under the "Divorce" hat, it is unyielding, heavy and full of pain.  We do know there is a better way, a kinder way and more supportive way to help many, many members of our society through their troubles.  

Thank you Resolution for bringing this to the fore and I was happy to help today, sharing my experience of something that had been a really difficult decision during a painful process.

Natasha x

Thursday, 24 November 2016

 Okay we are about to bomb burst this Divorce Goddess baby out of the blog water and onto a rock and roll website FULL OF authentic and cool stuff to help, support and give you the tools you need to RE-find your INNER funny, the gorgeousness that is you and the knowing belief that the rest of your life is not going to be defined by your divorce. 

WE are a rising of strong, generous hearted and supported sisters AND we are here to hold YOU so you can totally be the best person you know you authentically are through your divorce and your future extraordinary life with integrity, grace and kindness.

Pop your details into the Follow by email link whilst it's here... catching our divorce positive dust... and be in the know for what is about to explode on to the world wide web for divorce...

Big healthy sunny love x  and a big fat rooaaaaarrrrrr!!!!!

Sunday, 20 November 2016

My Secret Tip to Sleeping Better Through Divorce and Life

Sunday Love to You All

A little practice I do almost every night is this and I want to share this with you....

Before you go to sleep at night say a thank you to 3 people who made a difference to you today - through a smile, action or a thought....

Next think of 3 things that happened to you today that were positive, helpful and just maybe made you smile that gorgeous smile of yours....

Research has shown that going to sleep with positive thoughts in our heads helps us sleep better, we are in a more positive place mentally and that can only be a lovely thing....

Love Natasha