Finding Your Mojo
Rediscovering yourself after a divorce, breakup or separation has knocked you off your feet, taken the wind out of your gorgeous sails or shaken your confidence can only be a wonderful experience. It is easy after big life changes to feel out of sorts and perhaps a little lost, not really knowing who you truly are and what you are still about.
Refinding your inner funny or your unique ‘youness’ and who you once were can take a little time to return. The trick is to not go looking for it, let it come back to you naturally when you are good and ready for it. 
Through relationships we can forget who we are, we can become chameleon-like and in the more controlling and narcissistic ones, it is easier to lose ourselves and be lost. We judge ourselves to be not good enough, to be unattractive and not able to voice how we feel. We lose confidence in ourselves, our confidence feels a little like a dying ember needing new life bellows to reignite us. And then it happens, unexpectedly, the whoosh of what we need appears when we least expect it.

Love Yourself

Re-finding mischief, laughter and ultimately the strength to believe in yourself comes from within. Self-care, nourishment and a big dose of gentle love for your inner ‘funny’ gives you the confidence to know, that you can be you, worthy of being heard and able to love again. Maybe it is when you find yourself with a bunch of strangers you’ve never met before and properly laughing. Feeling a little of the mischief that comes with mutual attraction and letting yourself go. Having fun, feeling brave and putting yourself out of your comfort zone…. all of which is liberating. 

Unexpected Gifts

These times are unexpected, they are gifts, so try to notice how your body feels, are you feeling the frisson of happiness in your cells and mind, do you catch yourself smiling so hard your cheeks ache?  Do your eyes shine because you feel alive? Do you feel that sassy sexiness once more, working every bit that is your lovely flawsome self and loving your own positive energy? That is ‘you’ working your magic, the feel-good vibes and it is the joy of rediscovering yourself after divorce!

After the storm of a divorce, it is okay not to know who you are. So try giving yourself permission to ‘not know’ or at least don’t be in a rush! It is always tempting to be someone you aren’t because it feels easier and less scary. Less so than having to look at ourselves and understand why the break up happened rather than believing you are worthy of being you. Be gentle and don’t sell yourself short…

Be You

Try being with yourself, remember what you love doing and go do that. Visit an art gallery – nothing like a wander around somewhere being inspired, go to a gig or even if it is simply treating yourself and splashing out on a beautiful white sequin – imagine that from Zara – with love and thanks for this Trinny Woodall.

Shine Your Light!

We live in a society where so many people are trying to be something they are not, running away from who they are, so just be you!! Invest some time in getting to know yourself again as you would researching or learning about anything in life. Notice the great parts about you, love the perfect imperfections of who you are and trust you are everything you are meant to be for the right person.

Know you haven’t gone anyway, your light aint out, it’s just waiting for you to notice it, shine or sequin it up and show the world.

Tosh x

Feel free to join our FB Divorce Goddess® Group. There you can share the love, get support and help others 🙂 Be sure to answer the 3 questions.

And if you haven’t already get My Five Secret Divorce Tips workbook to help get you clear so you can clarify and cleanse parts of your divorce not working for you.