Saturday, 25 March 2017

Ex's and Mothers Day After Divorce

Ok so Exs and Mothers Day... how does this feel?  Divorcing kindly takes effort, big effort and respect, attention and time... being in a good place, if possible with your Ex leads to a far more harmonious life for your kids, for you and your wider circle of family and friends.

Mother's Day is one of those such days that is important for everyone.  Our own mum's surrogate mums and even the mum of your kids, who, (perhaps you don't care to or want to remember that hurt you through divorce) can with a little stepping up, be honoured for the sake of your kids. Even for just one day of the year can make the difference and would it not be a gift to your kids to know their mum is worthy of respect and kindness for their own well being, sense of worth and development? Their mum is half of them, of who they are and children need to know that the person they were borne by, despite any marital misgivings, is important.

We all know there is merit in respecting your Ex, as the person who bore your kids and for their future in helping create a climate of respect for women in the world and this can begin at home with you.  Do we not think this is where we, as humans begin to build a firmer, more cohesive and respectful society starting in our own community?

Could it be entirely possible within your power to do something completely beyond your comfort zone, outside of the box, to ensure your kids have the resources and ideas to help celebrate their Mother's Day?  How good would you feel that for even one day, you are supporting your kids as you acknowledge the importance of their Mum in their life by helping organise a card or bunch of flowers - even from the garden? Check in to this post to see how on his Ex's Birthday Billy Flynn made a difference.

My Ex has a saying "happy ex-wife, happy life" - it works for us - we respect each other enough to support this - neither of us wanting to continue rowing or arguing after we separated and divorced.  We were all done with this during the last couple of years of our marriage and so why go for more?  Can Mother's Day be an opportunity to make some painful stuff less so? Arguing is exhausting, energetically draining and a waste of time... what we can do is help each other and if by giving the children the chance to see that good stuff can come out of sad endings, this day might just be a chance...

Mothers Day is an ideal opportunity to show up for your kids, maybe surprise their mum and surely... any level of support, kindness and effort on Mother's Day is going to be appreciated... so go do it ... help be the reason for smiles on this day.

Natasha x

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