Thursday, 10 November 2016

Feeling the Love in Divorce and in Politics?

So a great many of the human race have been left reeling after the surprise choice of the USA voting electorate.
  
There is fear in the air, uncertainty of how the threats and promises are going to pan out. With the ripple effect of major upsets in our lives, sometimes unbeknown to us, this affects so many more people than we think.  

So I am throwing in divorce, with the ramifications when marriages are ended. Do we understand that it is also felt by so many in our world?  Whether it is your family, friends and community that are sad, happy or fearing possible outcomes of court warring, is this not similar to the energy of the frightened, shouty, unreasonables of political games and speeches in world politics this year.  

All that we know in our world is that before, during and after a divorce our world becomes so very different.  The shifting tectonic plates of human disagreements, life differences and relationships all maybe jarred beyond recognition or sometimes just imperceptibly different. What I have found is this, that no matter what the current quagmire of a landscape we think our world is in, it is really HOW we deal with such uncertainties in our lives that matters. 

Importantly it is now for our planet, more than ever for us all to realise, understand and believe we ALL have a duty of care.  It is in times of disruption, challenge and those dark shadow nightmare situations, that we have an opportunity to really begin to take a look at ourselves, to be brave and fearless as we look inwards, truly trusting we will find our "best selves". 

To do the work means sometimes looking at the anger we have towards our Ex, the perceived pain inflicted by their behaviour towards us or the unkindness of a world that has changed our lives so badly.  Ask yourself and listen deeply, in a place of stillness, what, why and how did your marriage end in divorce?  

This extraordinary time of politics has demonstrated that in every path there will inevitably be a fork along the way: one to follow anger, hatred and fear and the other fork towards a regrouping, a supportive and collaborative way of life... and divorce too is about beginning once again on that little known forked journey... whether you are a hobbit leaving your cosy home; a divorcee moving into something a little less grand or a property mogul moving into the White House.  

Life cannot be criticised, cursed or damned for throwing up surprises, curve or wrecker balls, because this is when we really authentically learn about ourselves. We can choose to forgive or to maybe discover the ability to be with, nurture and love ourselves.  Spend quality time with our children, our animals and in nature, whilst keeping counsel with our fellow human beings.  

We begin to see our lives from a different and more enlightened perspective.  Like anything difficult this takes work, forgiveness and kindness.  With that life reshuffling of negative biased thoughts of fear, of lack, of pain in divorce, we can ultimately choose a kinder path. And you know something - we feel a better bunch of human beings walking on the 'kind' fork, we like ourselves more when we aren't angry, bitter and at war.

We owe it to ourselves to understand even our own personal world can be a better place if we can release the fear.....and trust in each other with love... 


In the words of The Beatles " All you need is love" 

X


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