Friday, 25 March 2016

Easter Bunny Has Spring in Her Divorced Step

Reasons to be cheerful on a wet afternoon waiting for my children to return home, school’s out and I am writing a blog... yayyyy, I have Easter eggs a plenty for my children in the cupboard and thoughts of spring sunshine and the beauty of nature’s seasonal revealing is to behold.... 

So where am I going with this one ... it is about the post-divorce spring in our step, the sky being blue beyond the clouds, the bouncing back point that happens when you are ready .... and doesn't it take some time after our relationships and marriages have ended? 

So like the cold, hard unforgiving frost that finally relents on those dark winter dawns giving way to the bright, crisp and sunshine filled mornings, we begin to pick ourselves up ... as so ably demonstrated by my beautiful spring daffodils in these photos here - 2 hours of magic sunshine!


And the thing is, we humans aren’t really that much different... it doesn't take much for us to feel a little better. Be it a stranger’s kind smile, great customer service or the delight in the new buds poking their fluffy noses out of their winter protection.  With a little kindness we can all of a sudden have our little inner funny back with a belly laugh or that warm fuzzy feeling… it’s those little touches of sunshine in our lives that make the difference to tough days, grey days and days touched with world news sadness. 

Is it not a time to show each other the joy and gratitude that comes with being blessed with a little love, gentleness and perhaps a little chocolate to help us all grow richer in community, support and with love for each other …. 

Spring for me is about growth, new seeds, change and opportunities to just 'let go' of the greyer, more incumbent parts of lives, the winter layers of protection.  Fresh mornings, clearer thoughts, breathing, meditating helps us leave the anxious and fearful ruminations, the worries and the “what ifs” and allowing ourselves to be more present.

Divorce is a seasonal plant in many ways beginning with its summer of unexpected disappointments and discontent.  The storms, the washouts or the unexpected languishing in hot sunshine until the decision of autumnal shedding of the tired, faded and letting go of the marital rings begins to draw in. To the winter of discontent, the facing of our inner fears, reality and darkness maybe coupled with anger, bitterness and grief.  

Moving on to the next stage of a new life awakening, being in the present with acceptance, rather than resignation of what life holds is an incredibly powerful tool. And if we divorcees finally ‘get it’ we do become spring like, venturing out gingerly, perhaps a little fearful of those unexpected spring frosts that come along and send us back a few steps on our newly found life path.  We then wait a while until the sun begins to melt our outer frostiness, we raise our expectant excited cheeks a little higher towards the sun, feeling the birdsong of spring excitement in our nervous ‘learning to fly’ once again hearts… 

Since my marriage ended Spring has indeed become my most favourite season, I feel very bouncy, alive and open to the changes that this growing season gives me… 

I am looking forward to our Easter weekend, celebrating with my children, my love, friends and family, hunting for chocolate eggs, eating and dining, laughing and thankful for the joy and growth that is in my life.....

Happy Easter everyone x

Saturday, 5 March 2016

A Mother's Day Perspective After Divorce

Photo from Yours Tastefully
As a Mum of two beautiful, funny and generous hearted children Mother's Day this year has something a little different coming up for us.... we are here together, our little gang of three and this year we are not just celebrating me....

These little people are the part of Mother's Day which is the melt in the mouth butter icing royale on the cake of 'Mum's' lives..... with the rainbow layers, children bring with pure hearted goodness.

For me, Mother's Day is a celebration of all our complicated little intricacies we have as a mum with our children, which is the interwoven emotional tapestry of extraordinary love... from the moment children enter our lives....

As Kahlil Gibran wrote... 

"Your children are not your children. 
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. 
They come through you but not from you, 
And although they are with you yet they belong not to you.       

You give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts, 
You may house their bodies but not their souls, 
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. 
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. 
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.  
You are the bows from which your children are living arrows are sent forth.  
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. 
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; 
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.  

My lovely children have helped me be the Mum I am today and on Mother's Day, we three will celebrate with loving kindness the gift of each other, to each other ....

This blog is with love, support and honouring all those wonderful,strong, incredible hearted women in the world who are 'Mothers', who have had mums, who miss their mums and as a reminder to those who forget ....to call your mums often...

With grace and love to you all xxxx