No matter how dreadful you are feel on waking, how low in esteem you feel or stressed your hair and skin looks on bad nights sleep post break up. The daily machinations of getting it together and working it all out on your own are tiring and wearing, so try to remember the effort that is so rewarded when you do put your gorgeousness together.
Trash Walk of Shame entree was the morning I walked out my door with every single one of my wonderfully caring instincts screaming at me not to put the sheepskin slippers on... put THE trainers on...you have running kit on. So please, oh please, do not wear those to school, take that micro second time out, put the right footwear on even with the moth munched jumper, face devoid of anything but a couple of hormonal spots, hair pony tailed and a pint glass of aired water and lemon in hand.
But I did get into the car, my gorgeous children glad to be on their way to school at a reasonable time didn’t notice in our haste and into the school car park I drove. Ho ho and what a surprise, to be waved down in the car park by a lovely helpful Mumma who asked if I was going to my Son’s pre-camp meeting NOW... Aaahhh what ...right now... I peeked at the slippers, back at her and then at my Son whose camp meeting it was.
My Daughter bolted for the school steps, even in their no uniform school did the idea of Mother in sheepskin slippers do nothing for teenage daughter's self respect. I agreed - well of course I did! I walked into the school in a state of pre-espresso shame shock. BUT secretly and ever so quietly I was laughing. Laughing because I didn't listen to my fantastical intuition, that is there for so many good, valid and caring reasons.
So I walked into a full house classroom meeting, smiling and preempting any of their thoughts with a salutary “Guess the Mumma who forgot about the meeting today”…. My hot water and lemon still high in hand, remarked upon as being not dissimilar to a vodka tonic and bit early in the day..... So in amongst this brave, gung ho'ness, marched the fear monkey glamour army and I realised that whilst one can laugh at oneself in a situation like this, although funny, it could be the slightly sad "she's getting a divorce" scenario and this can only ever be done once. Preferably, in hindsight, not at all….
In public and especially if you are getting divorced, does it smack of losing that wonderful edge of control, self-respect and self-worth? Was there a slight sadness attached to the 'pity of divorce' laughter or was it the genuine gratuity of thank goodness it wasn't me.
However... a good morning belly laugh with lots of wonderful people is an immeasurable positive. The connection of laughter for humans is the EXTRA happy place, we relax, we heal and understand with grateful knowledge that everyone has those wrong call mornings.
Getting your gorgeous self together every time you walk out of your door, rain or shine keeps that 'little goddess getting divorced' head of yours held humbly high, prepared and utterly grateful for what you can manage a little better because you gave yourself the time you utterly deserve.
So, really we do not need to feel judged because we didn’t get it together to be the yummy mummy. Instead we can choose to give ourselves permission to look beautiful, glamorous and positive in our grace and beauty no matter what is going on in the monkey control centre of our very different, now divorcing life.
With love Natasha