This week Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced their official 'uncoupling' and that in effect their marriage had come to an end.
Their friendship has not and nor has their commitment to co-parent their children ended and this is to be applauded. http://www.goop.com/journal/be/conscious-uncoupling
The dissolution of a marriage is not about the end of everything, it is about the recognition of the opportunity for renewal and the belief in making future good of what is no longer working.
Why do we feel we should trash the ending of a marriage, break it down into small less scary pieces and casting it out as detritus as it is something that no longer works for us anymore? We all acknowledge that we live in a very disposable world, a world which has unkindly extended its veritably fickle values to marriage, relationships and divorce.
Why do we have to wave adios and discard all the good parts of our lives, just because one part isn't working any longer. We just need to fix the tricky bit as best and honestly as possible in order to continue on. All the while giving all the other parts of our lives such as children, health and ourselves due love, time and respect.
Positives of ending a marriage or a relationship are to have the opportunity to spend time mending, making good and rebuilding something that will never again be representative in its original idealistic form. Remembering that your partnership still has some semblance of working order and importance in the belief that we, ourselves and our lives are more robust.
Realising that handing away the rest of our power to the doubters, negativos and ridiculers of the world only feeds the negative expectations of a marriage end. This is the disservice you can extend to yourself, your children and the years spent together. You are both fully functioning adults with a clear commitment to oiling, cleaning and making good the future of this exhausted machine that was your marriage.
Can the rebuilding through conscious uncoupling and co-parenting help it all gently on as a continued life working partnership? This time in a different format, which works to the future benefit of all concerned. Can this be the most loving, less painful and respectful way?
With love x