Sunday, 9 February 2014


End of relationship noise levels in the camp of argumentation increase not only in regularity but also in volume. 

The frustration of not being heard, life feeling like it is spiralling out of control and the company of fears hanging out in your head promoting divorce anger all contribute to the BIG arguing wretched place. 

When you argue, you haemorrhage positive ENERGY that you really need to have hanging out within you. The stress monkey now seeks out the company of fears in your head. You will NOT be the calm, balanced and rational person you really need to be, if ever your Ex is going to listen to you. 

Why we should not argue. You know why, we all KNOW why, because arguments are about the unkind, unnecessary and mean stuff that neither of you wants to say or needs to hear.

The thing is about people going through the divorce process is that we are ALREADY so tired of shouting, grumpiness and arguing. Look at the benefits of saying to each other “Let’s stop arguing now, let it go from here on in" and give yourself that certain knowledge that you have made a defined, positive and difficult decision.

Just putting these thoughts out there is a wonderful intention to changing the argument factor. You know in your heart of gorgeous hearts that being CALM, kind and patient is the way forward.

The divorce trail does not need more arguments. They serve no one but the big grasping negativity magnet in the corner. I was so RELIEVED when we separated in many ways, none more so than the I was so exhausted by the constant bickering, arguing and the sick feeling of bodily stress that accompanies this outpouring of bad stuff.
A new Law of Separation and Divorce, “thou shalt not, because you need not, argue any more”. Amen! 

I didn’t want my children’s Father to be synonymous with arguments. He is half of my children’s make up, of their beautiful good and lovelieness. I felt that I no longer needed that negative attachment in our lives. I want to look at our children and know that they are made up of the best bits of me and their Dad. I want them in EVERY way to be representative of the good stuff that existed within our relationship. 

Nobody likes shouting, least of all your children. We tried incredibly hard not to argue in front of the children, to breathe and step out of the room if we needed to talk or shout. Now we arrange to talk away from the children, we go for a WALK and somehow being outside in the fresh air negates the option to raise our voices. You do not feel hemmed in, restricted and this is good.

Children have radars so finely attuned to parents voices, they know before you do, that there's an argument looming. You know you are heading that way. They ask us if we are going to have an argument, this is a huge leveller.  If you TRULY, within your good hearts are seeking a kinder divorce then listening to your children is so important. 

Your children are EMPOWERED just to know that they are being listened to, the potential fight stopped in its tracks. Acknowledging your children becomes a marker PEG on the divorce path for goodness, moderation and respect.                      
  • Clear your head with a run or a walk, go get fresh air before talking
  • Talking divorce stuff away from your kids is imperative
  •  Arguing is pointless, unhelpful and negative for everyone 
Love Natasha


1 comment:

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