The frustration of not being heard, life feeling like it is spiralling out of control and the company of fears hanging out in your head promoting divorce anger all contribute to the BIG arguing wretched place.
Why we should not argue. You know why, we all KNOW why, because arguments are about the unkind, unnecessary and mean stuff that neither of you wants to say or needs to hear.
Just putting these thoughts out there is a wonderful intention to changing the argument factor. You know in your heart of gorgeous hearts that being CALM, kind and patient is the way forward.
A new Law of Separation and Divorce, “thou shalt not, because you need not, argue any more”. Amen!
Nobody likes shouting, least of all your children. We tried incredibly hard not to argue in front of the children, to breathe and step out of the room if we needed to talk or shout. Now we arrange to talk away from the children, we go for a WALK and somehow being outside in the fresh air negates the option to raise our voices. You do not feel hemmed in, restricted and this is good.
Children have radars so finely attuned to parents voices, they know before you do, that there's an argument looming. You know you are heading that way. They ask us if we are going to have an argument, this is a huge leveller. If you TRULY, within your good hearts are seeking a kinder divorce then listening to your children is so important.
Your children are EMPOWERED just to know that they are being listened to, the potential fight stopped in its tracks. Acknowledging your children becomes a marker PEG on the divorce path for goodness, moderation and respect.
- Clear your head with a run or a walk, go get fresh air before talking
- Talking divorce stuff away from your kids is imperative
- Arguing is pointless, unhelpful and negative for everyone