Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Happy to be Divorced on St Valentines?


Love is the most beautiful aspect of our human nature and as such is to be hugged, kissed and loved in all its fantastical glory.
However, what I am ever so slightly bothered about are the machinations of publicity surrounding Valentine’s Day. 

Should divorcees feel the need to enter into the all singing and dancing cheap love tat arena that is now packing out Valentine’s Day?  Do we need to subscribe every year to this fandango on the day of love?  Is it OK to opt out? 
Is it ok to be whole in your beautiful self that just for this year, you can choose with your head and your heart and realise you are worthy of NOT receiving any of the top tat for St Valentines.

From an early age we are taught and shown that if you are unlucky enough to not receive a Valentines card on said day you are not loved, you do not feel very special and you are not worthy. 

Demo of Love Day

School left you with that ever so slight feeling of shame that your worth wasn't acknowledged to be included in the yearly demo of love day. Was it because we weren’t beautiful enough, funny enough or indeed nice enough? 
On this day many of us will, I suspect disappointingly look a little critically at ourselves, deeper into our big gorgeous loving and perhaps slightly aching hearts. So the lead up to St Valentine’s Day is probably the most exciting part, with all of us opening our hearts up to the possibilities of love and happiness  

Free not to celebrate 

I once bought a beautiful card for a lovely man and I never gave it to him. I realised that I wasn’t prepared any more to give someone a card, who I didn’t love. This card wasn’t conditional, it demonstrated that I could no longer pretend to be in love with someone.  Separation and divorce eventually frees and releases you of the requirement to buy into the needful. 
Cheap Fizzy POP
Divorcees give yourselves permission to NOT be in love on Valentine’s Day. Celebrate that you are released from the card scour, vastly overpriced, non-smelling roses, drinking fizzy vino pop and joining hundreds of loving couples at the table of the inflated fixed price dinner.

Someone giving flowers on any other day of the year and scooping you off to dinner, just because... now that’s the romance, that’s a Valentine’s Day. 
SO, have I become jaded and bitter about what love means to me post-divorce or is it because I just find it ever so slightly difficult to swallow the tat dished up without maybe real love and care. 
I overheard a man the other day saying to his friend, “I’ve got her a cheap bottle of bubbly, she’ll be happy”  No, no and no!!!!!  Is this right? Or is it wrong?  It is Valentine’s Day, does it matter, does anyone care too much anymore or is there still somewhere a loving thought?
So on this wondrous day when we should all be feeling the Love, could it be that it is now consigned as being one of the saddest days of the year?

Exemption or renewal?
And maybe on separating, divorcing or if single you feel thankful to be exempt from the dirge of Valentines. Or maybe you are so incredibly excited by a new partner in your life that you have renewed vigour of love, romanticism and the real desire to write that card!

Happy Valentines Day to you all!

With my love Natasha

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