Friday, 31 January 2014

I WANTED TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU

SHARING

Hearing this WONDERFUL song on the radio this morning put today's post on the back burner.  Fix You resonates enormously with me with regards to my efforts in 'fixing', NURTURING and taking responsibility for my own emotional care.

FIXING

We do figure a way out to put ourselves back together in which ever manner is possible after life changing events.  Each lovely person has their own remarkable way of making good and with this process, I guess, it is about having trust, belief and positivity that there is light at the end of the tunnel and a beautiful loving World beyond.

With my love Natasha


Fix You from Coldplay's album X&Y

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse


When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?


Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
I will try to fix you


High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth


Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you


Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I


Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I


Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you



And ...don't ever underestimate the benefits of a great cry whilst singing a great song.... X

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Trust you are a divorce goddess


Give your heart wings today with a positive thought…
Here’s the thing, we all, no matter what, always need to find our starting blocks somewhere and during SEPARATION and DIVORCE you really need those particular starting blocks to be the especially HELPFUL, strong and GENTLE ones. 

Pull it out of the bag
You have family, friends and networks of those that can support you, however YOU my gorgeous Goddess, are the one who has to pull it out of the bag and get your LOVING self off those blocks.  If you are fortunate you may have someone blowing a whistle to get you off those blocks faster than perhaps you would like, but you need that STRENGTH to start running…. 

Be it a sunny Monday, rainy Friday or mid-week wonderful Wednesday, in any process of rebuilding, loving and FORGIVENESS, it’s the approach, the beginning and the HOW…. it’s about the controllability of the crazy, the freakin’, the gut twisting hell fears, EMOTIONS of anger, grief and guilt on top of everything else you are having to deal with and think about. 
Inner truth
The LIFE knowledge we have gained about how we LOVE is our wonderful inner TRUTH and this is our foundation of growth, for our wonderful life ahead and with it all the incredible possibilities that appear through positivity.  We Goddesses need to ACKNOWLEDGE all we are going through, been through and have learnt during the dating days and our marriages.  

Using all this experience helps and positively cements our future LIFE foundations, these experiences bound with the gentle, good, smiley and tummy warming stuff. 
Begin remembering all the funny, good and NURTURING experiences we and our X’s shared and lay them gently into our future foundations, these are the experiences that have helped shaped us in our BEAUTY today.  If you have children this is especially important. 

I realised that my Children really needed to know that their years with their Mum and Dad as a family unit were WORTHY and important to us and that their place in this World was built on LOVE, kindness and respect.   

Fantastical foundations

So not only are we going to build these fantastical foundations for ourselves dear Goddesses, we are empowering ourselves and our children, so they too will have the confidence to walk out in to the World with unshakeable, good and strong believing hearts. 
You may shake your head, you may disagree, you may be hurting so badly that you feel you cannot breathe and the thought of writing off all these years with someone who has hurt you so much is the only way you can move on!

Create your Gratitude List

So try, breathe, be gentle with your beautiful heart and write your Gratitude List of all the stuff that was and still is positive.  You may need to dig deep, or step through the big scary wardrobe doors into the frozen, sad and Narniaesque place where you and your X may hang out. 

You don’t need to write a negative list, you may for the moment be living within it and as such this sadness, grief and negativity doesn’t need to be given the ‘feed every hour’ time and energy wasting programme.  Really try GORGEOUS one not to give any more of your PRECIOUS hurting time to this place. 
SO it is time to start SHIFTING your thought processes and brilliant brain by focussing on the positive and give your big hearted internal Goddess this GIFT. 

With my love Natasha

Thoughts of the Day

 *Step up to those starting blocks*Remember your happy experiences*Create your Gratitude List*

Friday, 24 January 2014

Beautiful Divorce Goddesses






“Hi my name is C, I overheard you are getting a divorce, so am I”.   

Whoooah, glass of wine brain is hijacked by the DIVORCE word at a friend’s birthday party on this beautiful sunny afternoon… “Oh goodness, I am so sorry”, I find myself saying in some kind of unprepared and thus sad, limp way and then follow up a resoundingly daft question such as “How long has it been?” 
 
 It then dawns on me …It is ME who is being asked about divorce, I am in the big ‘D’ conversation and it is not ME who has initiated it 

The Lightbulb Moment

This conversation was with an unknown LADY, a friend of a friend, someone who appeared so raw, BRAVE and beautiful.  I wanted to reach out to her, to HELP her with all my heart, but I didn’t know where to start or how.  
 
I guess therefore that somewhere in this unchartered conversation of “my life walls have come tumbling down space”, I was given the IDEA to write about my own divorce experience and where my headspace had been during this mostly unknown and unspoken about minefield of a time. 
It has been over 18 months since AGREEING to a divorce and it is the first time I had spoken to a stranger who was just beginning to step into that process of finality and grief.  These feelings exist for BOTH parties in so many guises and with so many layers. 
 
So I decide to take a brave and scary pill – and frankly the smallest of the BRAVEST and scariest pills that I have swallowed during this time and I decide to put pen to paper and write my innermost thoughts on a subject that I thought I was experienced in, having gone through one with my parents, but in reality I was totally UNPREPARED for? 

My Own Marriage

My marriage had been latent for so many years due to a tax exiled husband and we had spent so very little time together.  Sporadic attempts at couples COUNSELLING which did result in a six year reprieve, until we became once again angry strangers. 
 
The pain I carried of past hurts and buried anger, lack of RESPECT and recognition of evolving as independent people, but not together as one entity, leant heavily against our fragile indoctrinated awareness to SUCCEED in ‘marriage’.  We lived overseas, the schools were not that great and our daughter was nearing 12 years, so decisions had to be made.  I moved back to the UK with the children, our dogs and worldly chattels. 
Helping In The Crazy Divorce World...

These posts are part of my story, as a cathartic SELF-HELP guide to all those wonderful women and men who find themselves where I am and indeed where I have been this last 18 months.  It is for those who havedesire to be MINDFUL and KIND to each other whilst in the very crazy, upside down sort of divorce world, as opposed to the unhappy marriage.  
 
I do not consider this as representative in any way of anyone else’s situation and feelings about certain subjects I have covered... But... if it helps in any way...

With my love Natasha

Today’s Gorgeousness
Try to remember that divorce is not FOREVER and it does not DEFINE the future wonderful YOU!

“The words you speak become the house you live in”  Hafiz
 








































 
 
 
 
 

Thursday, 23 January 2014

Hello all you wonderful Divorce Goddesses!

HEY BEAUTIFUL LOVING GODDESS ....

Hey, you have found my Divorce Goddess blog and I welcome you with open, LOVING and generous arms and I give you the most heartfelt, gorgeous hug.  Please stay, read and give yourself permission to know that you are not the only one in this crazy, scary time zone, going through this process.

A GODDESS is, I believe, a female of grace and beauty.  Know that your strength and beauty lies within you.  You are a Goddess and you can SHINE in your brilliance.  It is vitally important for you to acknowledge and respect your authentic truth, your capacity for forgiving and loving. 

Being a Divorce Goddess is all about the innate generosity of spirit, kindness and power emanating from within you.  Know and truly believe this will serve YOU, your CHILDREN and your EX to have a more amicable and less expensive divorce.
YOU ARE ONE OF MANY!

One thing we can be absolutely sure of, is that there are lots and lots of other wonderful loving Divorce Goddesses out there in this big incredible World of ours who also want to help humanity and this WORLD become a more loving, CARING and supportive place. We believe and KNOW that all the happiness, LOVE and laughter makes and will continue to make a HUGE difference.  

We are all creators of our own DESTINY and we all have that power and grace within us, because we are Goddesses and we hold all those beautiful KEYS to the really fabulous stuff in life like LOVE and HAPPINESS that exists within us.
I am a single Mumma of two beautiful hearted children, I am a POSITIVE thinker, a divorce mentor and Reiki practitioner.  I have also of course been a Wife, as well as a company director and high-end overseas sales/marketing exec. I have worked and spent time with critically ill people.  I am an explorer, traveller and adventurer.  

I have NEVER been afraid to step out of life’s boundaries and to give it my ALL because my LIFE is worth every single incredible second, of every incredible day. I know that somewhere down the line I can put together something inspirational that I know can HELP all you wonderful people.  

I want to give you tools and thought processes that I have used to help make such a difference to my life in terms of positivity and abundance.  These tools will help you begin to FEEL empowered, back in control and you will know that you CAN find your FUNNY again as I have myself.
DONT LOSE YOUR SPARKLE...

I will tell you about my experiences of utter sadness and loneliness, low points of indescribable grief, waterfalls of tears, the appreciation of the SUBLIME, the hilarity of the RIDICULOUS, the truth of POSITIVITY, love, intuition and TRUST that has hoisted me on its fantastical adventurous back and supported me throughout ...


and all this has been served up to me in the most timely fashion at a time in my life which continues to show me how STRONG and RESILIENT I really am.  I don't ever want to lose my SPARKLE and I want to help you keep YOURS.  

With my love Natasha


Today’s Gorgeousness
I so totally LOVE this quote as it gives me the courage and fortitude to know that what I am blogging is important oh and it makes me cry ridiculously big tears when I read it …..

"If we could look into each other's hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us face, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care". Marvin J Ashton